The dream killer: perfectionism.

Perfectionism is a sure way to never get started or to never be ok with the work that you put forth (and therefore, we withhold it). Either route is a dream killer.

Hi. I’m dominique. I’m a perfectionist. A perfectionist who prefers to think that I am not a perfectionist. That might even be worse. I haven’t decided yet.

The odd thing is, I 100% believe in the need for failure. The lessons learned are invaluable. They shape who we are and who we will become. I know this. I believe this. I know I need it.

Then there’s the whole “balance” thing. You know what I mean, “practice makes perfect.” blah blah blah. So does that mean I SHOULD strive for perfection? (this is me reasoning and rationalizing crazy with myself)

I have always just had this very strong internal need to do and achieve something great. But “great” by who’s standards? Well, my own, I guess. These really really REALLY high standards I have set for myself.

And so I feel it necessary to bring my A Game 100% of the time. I don’t half-ass anything ever. I can’t.

Eventually this will lead me to a point of exhaustion and stretching myself too thin. Or even confronted with life (or my very honest Mexican Mother) that I am not present and am too focused on the wrong things. That’s never fun. Then I’m exhausted AND feel like a giant ass hole.

But ultimately, what I’ve discovered, is that perfectionism is rooted in fear. Fear of something less than worthy. If it’s not perfect, it’s a poor representation of me. And remember, I want greatness.

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So I stop. I sit in quiet. I remind myself that I am human. And these super high standards I have put on myself, I would never allow another human to beat themselves up over. So I shouldn’t beat myself up either. And neither should you.

If we beat ourselves up to the point where we refuse to dream because we refuse to fail, then we’ve lost. I just don’t think that’s what this life is about. The world needs our gifts and our thoughts. It’s about you being you and me being me. Each day we can each bring what we have to give. Some days we will have more to offer than other days. That’s ok. It’s ok to be honest about it.

We don’t need perfection. We just need each other. Honest. Raw. And real.

So let’s remember to take it easy on ourselves. I know I could use a reminder every once and a while, and even a little encouragement here and there. You may too. If that’s the case, here you go: You’re doing a great job. Thank you for all of your hard work. It matters and you make a difference. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.

Now, go and remind somebody else who may need to hear that as well.

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